A Series of 'Pleasant' Events
by RhosFurey
Summary: these are amusing collection of stories and happenings of the greatest Detective ever, Skulduggery Pleasant! Hope you enjoy
1. Valkyrie's day off

_**A series of 'Pleasant' events. **_

**Valkyrie's day off. **

When Skulduggery had said "Valkyrie, you get a day off." She didn't know how to respond. These were rare blessings but most the time she didn't know how to spend that treat.

So, today she had planned a day of rest in front of the television with a movie and snacks. Before she met Skulduggery, when she had leisure time she wouldn't be spending it on the sofa, she would have gone out, playing with her friends at the harbour or adventuring in some wood. But as she had been busy already she earned a break and anytime she could spare was a pleasure. But, as she sat on the sofa, with a bowl of popcorn waiting for her film to start she heard a knock at the door. Her family were out at work, so it couldn't have been them but school was off for insert day. She guessed it was one of her friends, wanting to go out or something. But as she walked to the hallway, she saw the familiar outline of a person in the frosted door glass. It was tall, very skinny and wore a wide brim hat. Skulduggery Pleasant.

She opened the door, her eyes narrowed.

"What are you doing here?"

Skulduggery stood on the welcome mat, twiddling his thumbs. This amused Valkyrie. He looked like a nervous school boy being asked a question from a teacher.

"I was wandering, maybe I could join you on our day off?"

Valkyrie's mouth dropped.

"Just when I have an opportunity to be away from you, you want to spend our day _together_?"

Skulduggery was silent for a while. "Yes, I think that is what I'm applying."

Valkyrie stood still, holding the door, contemplating whether to agree, but she just shrugged. "OK, very well. Do you like horror movies?"

Skulduggery looked clearly excited. "Ever since I watched that silent vampire film a hundred years ago, I enjoyed that."

She smiled. "Even though you fight vampires in real life?"

He stepped over the threshold into the hallway. It had been his first time in her house or the bottom half. He stared at a picture hanging on the wall.

"Watching a film of vampires is far more safer than fighting them."

"Always the easy option." Valkyrie mused.

They stood awkwardly in the hall for awhile and Valkyrie decided to lead him to the living room. She had drawn the curtains and had no lights on in order to make a dark, and scary atmosphere.

Skulduggery stepped in, hands in pockets. "Your mother sure has a taste of colour." he noticed the red papered walls.

Valkyrie nodded absently, placing herself on the sofa and made room for Skulduggery at her side.

She looked at the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table facing her. She asked unsure, "Would you like some-"

"No thank you, Val. But I'm afraid I have no clue what they are. Plus, I don't eat, you know that."

Valkyrie shrugged. "I know. It's like a ritual, when you watch a film you have to have popcorn."

"Mmm, popcorn." He popped the word 'pop' in his mouth. "Interesting."

She smiled, remembering how old fashioned Skulduggery was. She sometimes forgotten he was a 400 year old skeleton sorcerer.

She nestled comfortably as the movie began. Slowly, credits appeared on the black screen and atmospheric music began.

"What are we watching by the way?" Skulduggery asked.

"Shh!" Valkyrie hissed, as the first camera shot appeared.

Skulduggery folded his arms, trying his best to stare at the screen. "What's it about?"

She nudged his bony arm. "Just watch and you'll soon see!"

Skulduggery focused as he saw a dark, quiet street on the television. A shot of a castle looking down at the village on a hill top.

He sighed. How typical.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes. "If you don't want to watch it, go away!" She whispered, keeping her eyes on the screen, a cushion placed over her stomach and her knees tucked up.

As a moment passed, and a scary moment was building up, as a bunch of wandering teenagers walked around the spooky castle, Skulduggery had a plan. Just when a dull blonde was opening a door, Skulduggery found the perfect moment to jumped up suddenly, attempting to scare Valkyrie at her side.

As the woman on the film screamed as a monster leapt out at her, Valkyrie however sat there, staring at the screen. She hadn't even blinked.

"Pathetic, Skulduggery."

"I can't even believe that a living skeleton won't even frightening when you're watching a scary movie!"

"That's because," She began, now facing him as the film was properly beginning, "you are not frightening."

"I can be scaring when I want to be." Skulduggery warned.

"It might work on someone like Scapegrace but not me."

Valkyrie turned back to the film. Skulduggery watched 2 minutes until he finally concluded. "This films boring, it's far too long!"

Valkyrie frowned, "Too long!?" She exclaimed, "It's only just started!"

"The last one I watched was only 5 minutes and 46 seconds long."

Valkyrie turned to Skulduggery incredulously. "You mean the last time you've watched a film was when they first started, silent, black and white movies?"

He nodded.

"100 years have passed, technologies gone a long way since then you know."

"I spend my time fighting criminals! How do I know?" Skulduggery defended himself.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and hit him with a cushion playfully.

She tried to concentrate back on the movie, but Skulduggery huffed once more.

"That's it, we're going!" She jumped up from the sofa.

She placed the disc out of the DVD player and back in it's case. Skulduggery was standing already, kneeling against the door frame.

"Wanna fight some real monsters?" he sparked a small flame in his gloved hand.

She nodded, "If it would stop you fussing over how bored you are." She climbed up the staircase, "Once I get dressed." she bellowed from the landing.

When she was back down in her black, fighting clothes, she saw Skulduggery in the Bentley already.

"So much for the day off," she muttered.


	2. Revision

**Revision. **

These were the days Valkyrie wanted to switch her identity with her useful and appreciative reflection. She was stuck in her room, made by her parents to revise for her Summer exams. Valkyrie knew it was no use to her revising as she probably won't even do it as she was so busy with investigating these days. Sometimes fighting bad guys who could destroy the world and kill every living thing on this planet was better than going to school. Anyway, she would have to suffer through the memory of the revising and of the actual exam. But Valkyrie decided to follow her parents wish and do what they actually told her to do. For once.

Her parents were out for awhile and Valkyrie tried to focus on her revision before her. It was Maths, Valkyrie's most hated subject yet.

She now discovered how bad she was at not knowing things. Maybe she should attend school more often. She thought about it.

Nah.

Valkyrie continue to stare at the page for a while and thought she grasped something it had said.

When she was working out the equation after a few minutes, a tap sounded at the window.

"Go away!" Valkyrie insisted.

She had an idea who it might be. There were a limited few who could climb up her window and tap at it with hollow, skeletal finger.

'_Tap'_

She rolled her eyes and tried to ignore it, reading the same equation for the fifth time.

When the third tap echoed in her ear, she turned to the window and, indeed, there was Skulduggery Pleasant.

"Don't worry, Valkyrie." He said perched on the slight shelf of the window. "Please take your time. I'm sure your neighbours would understand that a skeleton is lingering outside your bedroom window. Not so much a skeleton in the closet, more like a skeleton hanging out the window."

Valkyrie smiled and slid up the window frame and he jumped inside.

He noticed the stack of books and papers on her desk.

"So, this is the 'nightmare' teenagers call _revision_? "

Valkyrie nodded. She now was glad Skulduggery had came. She wanted to trick him to answering the questions for her. He picked up a question sheet and read out the first question out loud.

"Solve this equation, 'Solve this equation, 4x+7y-2x.'" He lifted his chin and thought. "13xy."

Valkyrie frowned, "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. I am an extremely intelligent detective. I have you know that I won a medal at a competition when I was younger."

Skulduggery stood with pride.

Valkyrie doubted that was likely but she just shrugged, took the paper from Skulduggery's bony grasp and sat at her desk, writing down Skulduggery's answer.

All afternoon, Skulduggery 'helped' Valkyrie into her homework and Valkyrie was quite confident Skulduggery got them right. If the 'amazing' Skulduggery didn't know about it, it wasn't worth knowing.

When Valkyrie and Skulduggery were done she sent the reflection out. The reflection seemed very impressed at how Valkyrie finished her revision question and didn't question Valkyrie but put the sheets in Valkyrie's school bag.

After a couple of days, Valkyrie came home _very_ late and greeted her reflection who was laying awake in her bed. Valkyrie asked her about her day. Valkyrie had a unpleasant shock.

Her reflection brought out the homework sheet and handed it over to Valkyrie cautiously.

Valkyrie couldn't believe it. Every answer on it was wrong.

I big fat 'F' highlighted her work and she crossed her arms in annoyance. "I'm going to kill him."


	3. Driving Lesson

**Driving Lessons**

Valkyrie huffed, sitting in Skulduggery's stylish Bentley as he swerved dangerously across the dusted road.

"What's up Val?" Skulduggery asked slowly not taking his eyes away from the road. He had a pretty good idea of what was up with Valkyrie.

"You know what." She moaned.

Skulduggery sighed and slowed the car down and parked in a lay-by next to the woods.

"We've discussed this. You are not going to drive my dear Bentley...you're not even seventeen yet." He mused.

Valkyrie shrugged, "C'mon Skulduggery." She gave him the big, puppy dog eyes. Skulduggery didn't turn to her, for he knew he couldn't say no to those eyes. Damn Valkyrie! He thought.

"I tell you what. How about my yellow car?"

Valkyrie's jaw dropped and her eyebrows came far up her forehead. "The Canary Car? You're kidding me? I am not going to have my first drive in _that _car!" She protested.

"Your first drive? Remember the white van? Remember the disaster you made. God, I'm not sending you out to Kenspeckle tonight, he would defiantly find some spell or miracle to bring me back to the grave." He chuckled darkly.

Valkyrie crossed her arms. "I was twelve then, and I was trying not to get killed!"

"More like committing suicide." Skulduggery grumbled.

Valkyrie punched him in the arm, "That's it. I'll just asked Ghastly then."

"He won't let you though, I've told him the story." Skulduggery had a smile in his voice.

Valkyrie stared daggers at him.

Skulduggery sighed, "Okay, might as well get a driving lesson from the most brillaint and most skillful driving in the world."

"Ha, don't make me laugh. I'm only doing it with you because you've got an amzing car and you're a big push over."

I'm flattered," Skulduggery said sarcastically.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Watch it...now...MIND THAT TREE!"

Skulduggery should never had agreed to this. But luckily he had a trick up his sleeve.

As Valkyrie, death deviantly, narrowingly, missed the tree trucks on the edges of the round, Skulduggery pressed a button by the gear stick. Suddenly, valkyrie's hands were spun off the steering wheel as the steering wheel steered the car safely back in the centre of the road.

"What on Earth..?" Valkyrie tried to contain contol over the car. But Skulduggery sat back in the passenger seat, body language relax and placed his gloved side behind his head.

Valkyrie gaped at him.

"The whole time! The whole time...you didn't mention it had auto drive?"

Skulduggery shrugged. "I only use it when an annoying person begs me to teach them to drive and if they are VERY bad at it and could wreck my car in any time!"

"Great!" valkyrie slouched back. Watching the wheel turn itself and the car drove back onto tarmac.

"Swap seats?" Skulduggery asked. Already out of the car to resume his car seat.

Valkyrie grumbled out of it and kickd the car's side as she walked to the over side.

As she came in Skulduggery started the engine and raised a gloved finger to him. "That, Miss cain, wasn't very nice. What has the car ever done to you?"

"I could kick you if you would like?"

"Now, now. Don't get hasty, the mountin air has certainly taken effect over your brain. You love me really."

"I hate you."

_Hope you liked that, just something i thought of as i was in the car with my sister. Got another car based story up next. _

_Thanks for your R&R's so far. Keep them up!_


	4. Embaressing Moment

The Embarrassing Moment.

_Be warned, involves Skulduggery singing…badly!! _

Skulduggery had received a gift. He didn't know if it was a gift, but the box wrapped present given to by Valkyrie sure looked convincing. He moved it about in his hands, weighing it.

"Err, what is it?" He asked slowly, rather suspicious of this 'kind' gesture.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes, "Open it and you'll find out!" She insisted. Honestly, he could be a right pain sometimes. Though he big himself up saying he is clever and so on, but sometimes he wasn't _all _that.

They were standing outside of the stylish Bentley Valkyrie loved so much. It was something to do with the car but would be nice for both of them at long travels. She wasn't being selfish, honest.

"And, why do I have the honour for such gift?" Skulduggery wandered but added quickly, "Even though I know perfectly why because I'm a great teacher and role model and simply amazing at everything and you wish to be like me and everyone loves me. But apart from that, why?"

Valkyrie huffed, "Can't I just give you a present whenever I feel generous Skulduggery? Besides, you might not like it."

Skulduggery stared at the box in his hands. He didn't want to say, but this was his first gift in years…centuries even.

"Okay, I suppose I have to," he was about to unwrap it, but stopped and looked at his partner in crime. "Thank you by the way."

Valkyrie smiled warmly, he had said it intentionally and with heart. She shrugged back to her stubborn self and urged him, "Open it will you!"

So he did and my, what a shock he had. First of all, he didn't know what it was.

Valkyrie was beside herself with bemusement.

"First gift I give you and you don't bloody know what it is!"

It was a car CD player. Of course, Skulduggery handled it without care and shook it next to where his right ear should be.

"I know perfectly well. I am up to date with the latest technology."

"Skulduggery, you own a Bentley. Who other modern people around here owns a Bentley?"

Skulduggery didn't look at Valkyrie when he answered but pressed buttons off it rather viciously.

"I'll tell you who, rich and successful men!"

Valkyrie raised her eyebrows, "Yeah, just skip the man and the rich part. Actually, are you successful?" She laughed.

After about an hour fiddling with the electrics and wiring and other things you needed to do to place a CD player where the old broken radio used to be, it finally worked. And Skulduggery confessed he liked it.

Of course, Valkyrie forgotten to actually bring one of her CD discs with her so they couldn't actually listen and test out the CD player but they listen to the Irish radio station instead and cruised about the City.

The day after Valkyrie was ready to meet Skulduggery at the harbour and she took a bag where she had all her favourite bands, even some of her dad's stuff too. His were _Led Zeppelin_, _Clash, _and other oldies. Her were newer rock bands like _The Killers_, _Coldplay_, _Kasabian_ and _Green Day_.

She hoped to get Skulduggery into them.

But as she draw closer to the Bentley unseen, she heard something coming out of the Bentley's CD Player. A loud drowning of an Irish boy band. Valkyrie cringed with embarrassment and amusement. The song was 'Better' by _Boy Zone_.

She sneaked at the side of the car, trying not to giggle the whole time. And peeped her eye in through the window.

There, moving his mouth along with the words was Skulduggery, nodding his head at the music, tapping his hands on the stirring wheel and swaying in his seat. He was clearly enjoying it.

When the song stopped he coughed at looked at his watch and turned his head back to see if Valkyrie was approaching, unknown to him that Valkyrie had been watching the entire time. He slid the CD out of the slot. Valkyrie's jaw dropped when she saw the new CD slide out. If it was off the radio that was okay, but he owned a CD! This wasn't good, she thought.

When Skulduggery sneaked the CD back in this case and hid it in the glove department Valkyrie knocked at the window. Skulduggery jumped a little but composed himself. Valkyrie slid in the car like she hadn't seen anything. Skulduggery started to drive on, both in silence. But Valkyrie couldn't hold it anymore.

"So, you're feeling 'better'?"

Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie, "Excuse me?"

"Oh, it's Okay. My mum has the same album. I've never liked them. I was a cool child."

Skulduggery continued to look confused.

"You know, _Boy Zone_ isn't bad if you have blonde pig tails or a middle aged woman. But personally, I have better tastes."

She got out the CD case from the department to show that she saw him put it away.

Skulduggery stiffened. "It's not mine." He lied. "I wanted to pay back a return for this so I thought you might like it." He voice was quiet, tinged with humiliation.

"And you happen to know the whole lyrics to the song?" Valkyrie was full on laughing now. Skulduggery just kept surprising her.

The detective decided to stick up for himself. "Val, lots of people like _Boy Zone_. Maybe you should give them a chance." Then, as to wound Valkyrie up more, he started singing…

"…_No matter what they tell you,_

_No matter what they say…"_

"Skull! Stop it NOW!" She was in fits of laughter but he was seriously spooking her out.

Skulduggery was merciful and stopped, laughing along with Valkyrie.

She wiped the tears away and pulled out the CD cases from her sachet. "Right, now it's time to show you some real music!"

_Hope you enjoyed that, and no I don't like Boy Zone even though I do know some words. ;) Hope you liked the story, and found it funny. I came up with the idea sat in the car and originally thought about doing the band _Girl's Aloud _instead, but I thought a boy band like _Boy Zone _would just be more cheesier, plus, they're Irish! _


	5. Saving Skulduggery

Saving Skulduggery.

He was here. It was unbelievable that he was sat there, facing Valkyrie. True, he had changed. his torn clothes hung off him and he arms draped over the arm chair, weak. But he was happy.

Valkyrie still hadn't said a thing, just absorbed him in, actually trying to come to the fact that she had succeeded, they all had succeeded in saving Skulduggery Pleasant.

Kenspeckle didn't let them talk and he appeared and came into the room and draped Skulduggery's arm around his shoulder, Valkyrie helping him take Skulduggery to a bed to rest. Skulduggery saw his old 'friend' and seemed to smile.

"Dear Professor, did you miss me?"

Although Kenspeckle had stayed composed all through the task of saving Skulduggery, he now showed his true emotions. "It's weird, I actually did. Only our arguments though, been awfully bored without them."

Valkyrie smiled, it was weird, months without Skulduggery and already everything felt calmer, better, brighter, more worthwhile then it had without him.

They settled Skulduggery into his bed and Kenspeckle gestured Valkyrie to go out of the room, Valkyrie reluctantly did, leaving a small smile to Skulduggery. She heard Kenspeckle say before she left the room, "Now, I think I still have that pink Rabbit and Elephant gown here somewhere. We need to get you out of them clothes. You stink!"

Valkyrie came into the living room of the farm house, everyone inside raised up, wanting to here the news.

"He seems fine. Kenspeckle is checking him over and he's getting some well earned rest."

Ghastly came over to Valkyrie, his face scarred but yet beautiful, his smile wide and his eyes bright. That same look was in everyone's faces.

"Valkyrie, what you did in there. That was amazing."

Valkyrie shrugged, "I had to do it. I mean, anyone would've to, you know, get Skulduggery back."

Tanith had tears in her eyes, Valkyrie had never seem her cry before. It made tears swell up in her own eyes too.

They hugged each other warmly. She was Valkyrie's best friend and she was so happy Tanith was still here.

"Have you spoken to Skulduggery yet?"

Valkyrie shook her head. "I dragged him out carried him to the chair pass you and suddenly, before I got register his actual presence, Kenspeckle snatched him up."

She sighed, and what an ordeal she had to do to get Skulduggery, but it was worth it.

Tanith and the whole room, China, Solomon, Ghastly and Fletcher gazed at Valkyrie admiringly but tinged with concern.

"What was it like in there?" Fletcher gulped silently. His arm around Valkyrie for comfort. "It must've terrible."

Valkyrie took a deep breath. The horrific images back in her mind of that…_hell_.

"Terrifying, black, cold, silent, just devoid of light, company and nightmares in every corner. The Faceless Ones..."

…She was out of the room, her mind back at the moment where her soul was almost taken away by the evil God. Her personality, her will, her mind, her soul being sucked out of her, consumed by the Faceless One in it's original, shapeless, pointless form. Then, Skulduggery. In his last legs, his hour of dying saved Valkyrie once more…

Valkyrie opened her eyes and saw that Tanith and Ghastly were kneeling before her, her face's frightened then relief came as Valkyrie came back to consciousness.

"You fainted," Ghastly completely swept Valkyrie in his big comforting arms and carried her into another bedroom upstairs where she was to get some sleep. "You've been through so much, Val. More than any of us. You don't know how important you are to us. Skulduggery especially."

Valkyrie shook her head to Ghastly sleepily. "You all would of done the same."

"No, we couldn't have. You're special, Valkyrie. You're probably the first ever Sorcerer, who single-handedly defeated the Faceless Ones, in their own realm and retrieve back their taken."

Valkyrie shrugged her shoulders. "Saying it in that way, I guess you're right." She tried to keep her eyes open but it was too much to hold back.

Ghastly walked to the door and looked back at Valkyrie, her pretty head on the pillow. "You know Valkyrie," He whispered, "I actually think my mother was wrong that time. When she saw you being killed. I do hope she was wrong, Val. With all my heart. Because, if you can defeat the Evil Gods, you can defeat anyone."

Valkyrie mumbled as she gratefully felt the first wave of sleep wash over her.

Skulduggery came out of his state of trance. He saw that he was in a dark room. Skulduggery jumped up suddenly, trying to point where he was. He was in a comfortable bed, crisp white sheets. Paintings of flowers on the wall with yellow wall paper, and the moon light shining through the thin curtains.

He was back, he was actually back on Earth. He sighed in relief and slumped back on the bed, his mind rewinding back to what had happened.

All he remembered was the darkness, the coldness and the quietness and the empty feeling that all hope and love had gone. That he was actually rotting in the stinking air, the shapeless, terrifying Gods haunting him, torturing him, making him madder and madder and madder, where he was convinced his previously life had not even happened, and that the Gods were teasing him with false memories so his pain would hurt him more.

Then…her. His angel, his saviour, his guardian, his partner. Valkyrie Cain. Oh, how he had missed her, missed his friends, missed the world, missed his car, missed his job but most importantly, he missed her.

And now she had saved him from that terrible place. No, not place. It was too cold to be a place, not even a being, a thing. Just a pit of the darkest mind where the most darkest thought occurred.

Skulduggery swung his legs over the side of the bed, his head bent low. He was scarred, certainly scarred after what had happened, but he tried to erase those nightmares and concentrate back on his life, or death, or whatever. The only thing that mattered was that he was living again and he was back. Skulduggery Pleasant, the Best Detective in the World, was back.

Skulduggery laughed silently, noticing the gown he was wearing. Good thing Kenspeckle hasn't lost his sense of humour, Skulduggery thought to himself.

His head was aching, but other than that he felt strong enough and opened the door. The lights of the landing blinded him greatly for awhile. But it was glorious. He hadn't seen light for so long, he held his arms out, embracing the light. He could almost feel the light on his bones.

"Skulduggery?"

Skulduggery snapped his skull around so fast to his left his bones in his neck clicked.

Valkyrie stood far in the other side of the corridor, herself in a pair pyjama's and gown too.

"Skulduggery," Valkyrie said more louder, soaking him in, pinned to the ground, unable to move.

Skulduggery too couldn't move. He soaked in Valkyrie's beauty and spirit. Their presences' locked together and their friendship was bound again. At the same moment they ran to each other.

"Skulduggery!" Valkyrie shouted, her smile lighting up her bruised and battered face.

"Valkyrie!" Skulduggery copied the same emotion of Valkyrie's voice.

They were inches apart and Valkyrie threw herself to Skulduggery, both wrapping their arms around each other in a big embrace. Valkyrie's head over Skulduggery's left shoulder and he on her right. Valkyrie clutched him in far to tightly and Skulduggery winced in pain.

"I'm so sorry!" Kenspeckle told Valkyrie Skulduggery's bone was broken and he had treated them with fast treatment, but his bones were still trying to repair themselves.

"It's fine Valkyrie. It's just so great to see you again."

"You too Skulduggery."

They hugged again, Valkyrie more lightly this time. Tears of happiness ran down her cheeks, now overwhelmed to say anything else. She sank into Skulduggery.

They stood for moments which felt like hours, just holding each other, and what Skulduggery said next completely stunned Valkyrie.

"I love you."

_So…what did you think? Haha, it is so over dramatic and soppy and emotional and completely sweet and cheesy but you gotta be cold-hearted to hate that, right?_

_Originally I don't think that in the real books it would be this soppy, but I just felt so romantic and soppy at the time so I decided to write this. _

_Hope you enjoyed it…I might write another chapter at what happens next or even before when Valkyrie stepped into the realm and went through obstacles and such if you ask nicely! __J_


	6. lady Muck and the auction, Part 1

_HEY! Well, this is a pretty long story for my series of Pleasant events, but like this idea. For some reason it involves cars!! I dunno why the last three contains cars. Beryl is very much like Hyacinth Bucket in 'keeping up appearances' I love it! Sorry I spell out euros and not show the sign. I haven't got a euros sing on my key pad so I had to make do to typing the word. Hope you like this one. Its cut in two parts to make it less long or easier. _

_Please keep up your R&Rs! I so much appreciated it! Send some suggestions too if you want. But I'm not sure if I could make much when the term starts again! __L_

_Rhos Furey!_

**Lady Muck and the Auction Part 1!**

Beryl was not very popular with people. She was unpleasant, rude, selfish and very, very annoying. Melissa listed all the bad points about Beryl in her head, if not the only points of Beryl, while Beryl herself was complaining away jabbering on the kitchen table.

"So," Melissa cut through one of Beryl's rants. "Why have you given me the pleasure of your visit this morning?"

Obviously, Melissa was being sarcastic.

However, Beryl didn't seem to notice and took a moment to remember why she had come in the first place. Then, something clicked.

"Oh, it's about your daughter."

Melissa looked up in exasperation. Not again. When will she keep her large nose out of her business and stop telling her how to be a mother.

"I'm quite alarmed by who Stephanie makes friends with."

Melissa frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, when Stephanie was staying with me while you and Desmond were in Paris. I very odd woman called for Stephanie."

"What was odd about her?" Melissa was quite interested.

Beryl grimaced, "She wore brown leather! I mean, who wears brown leather nowadays? _And_ she was a Doctor!"

Melissa could've laughed. Beryl certainly didn't go with the fashion. Melissa eyed Beryl's ugly beige skirt and matching shawl. Please.

When Melissa was about to reply, her daughter entered the kitchen in her school uniform. She smiled at her mother, and then suddenly noticed Beryl sitting down. She hid a grimace behind Beryl's back. Melissa smiled.

"Ah, Stephanie. Good to see you."

Valkyrie knew she was lying, she lied back. "You too, Aunt Beryl."

She quickly made herself some cereal and chomped it down, desperate to get away from her aunt as soon as possible.

She vaguely listened to Beryl blabbing about how well her girls, or the Toxic Twins as Valkyrie liked to call them, were doing in school.

Valkyrie was told by her reflection however, that the twins were caught smoking in the girls' toilets and had been suspended for a few days. Beryl though seemed to avoid that news to Melissa, saying how the twins received raving reports from the teachers and that they were auditioning for the school musical.

Good luck to them, Valkyrie thought. They sounded like two Siamese cats being strangled. Actually, they sounded better than Carol and Crystal.

Valkyrie was just about to start at the stairs to bring her reflection out as beryl stopped her.

"How is that…Taylor? Is it?"

Valkyrie sighed, "Tanith." She corrected.

"Yes, _her._" Beryl never forgotten how her husband looked at Tanith Low.

"Good, thank you. I haven't really seen her in a while." Tanith told her about her little meeting with Beryl. She had said she was a Doctor. "She's been very busy with her patients."

Before she could be asked any more question Valkyrie sprinted to her bedroom.

"Phew,"

Valkyrie took out her Reflection and climbed out of the window when Beryl and her mother went off about their lives for the day.

She was off to get Skulduggery car shopping. The Bentley was all very well and all, but it was in to be fixed. They had recently crashed it badly while in a car chase and sadly, the mechanic said it was a hefty job and could not say if it was fixable.

Moreover, Valkyrie couldn't stand the Canary Car or the Purple Menace. In addition, when Skulduggery said he was thinking of buying a new car, she jumped at the chance.

She just hoped he had a bank account big enough for the car she was hoping for.

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Beryl was with her husband, who was intent on buying a car today. They had been trying to get one for weeks but Fergus was so fussy and was desperate for a certain car, a Bentley.

A Bentley however was in this auction lot. Lucky.

_Lets just hope no one else bids for it_, hoped Beryl.

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"So," Chirped Skulduggery as they entered the warehouse where a vary of posh Cars and super cars were on show. Men gawped at them, while their wives told them their price limit and they'd sulk away.

Skulduggery was in his finest disguise. He actually got a professional wig maker and got a decent wig, a blond one. Valkyrie actually wondered if he was naturally blond. Before he died of course. He had magic spectacles that seemed like ordinary pair of glasses but pictured bright blue eyes looking through them instead of the blank sockets. It freaked Valkyrie out how much Skulduggery actually looked human. But still remained was his scarf around the lower part of his skull. And the hat. However good a wig, a hat was Skulduggery's fashion accessory.

"What kind of Car do you think will reflect me?" Skulduggery continued, asking Valkyrie.

She smiled, "Perhaps just a skeleton of a car and that will do. No engine, no wheels. Just the frame?"

Skulduggery's magical 'eyes' rolled.

Valkyrie was unnerved how Skulduggery could express his emotions through those eyes. It was so weird.

"Or," Skulduggery persisted, "A slick, smooth Jaguar. Quick and agile. Maybe red, signal for danger. Do not dare. That sort of thing." He winked.

Valkyrie shivered, those eyes were abnormal for Skulduggery.

"Well, lets just see," She opened the leaflet that held all the lot of the auction. She noticed a Bentley.

"Maybe a newer Bentley?" She shrugged.

Skulduggery took the leaflet quickly from her grasp. Saw the picture. "It does look nice,"

Valkyrie smiled, hearing him pining for his original Bentley. He didn't like change.

"Perhaps I'll see it first."

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"There it is!" Yelped Fergus, perhaps far too enthusiastic for seeing a Bentley.

Beryl couldn't't help but be awed at it. She could imagine the jealous looks from her neighbours when they saw her cruising in it.

The Black, continental was parked in the centre of the warehouse and everyone gathered around it. A guard was there, crossed arms, preventing people from touching it. It was _that_ nice.

Beryl almost drooled over it. She could feel Fergus's excitement. They had the cash, after selling the mere boat Gordon had left them, they had money for what really mattered. A higher status for themselves.

"Well, what do you think?"

Beryl heard a familiar young voice. She turned her head sharply, ears pricked up like a hare.

Than, she saw her. Right in front of her, nudging past people to get closer to the Bentley was Stephanie. Stephanie Edgley.

Beryl Grabbed Fergus's shoulder and spun him around, intruding his day dreaming.

"What's the matter dear?" he asked.

Beryl simply pointed, trying to be discreet.

"What?" Fergus didn't understand.

"Stephanie!" She hissed.

He suddenly noticed his niece, but she wasn't alone.

Beryl saw that man again, the one in the hat. She knew he look familiar. He had saw her with that Tanith girl too! Stephanie was suppose to be in school! She would have words to Melissa.


	7. Lady Muck and the auction, part 2

**Lady Muck and the Auction part 2!**

"I love it!" Skulduggery couldn't hide it.

Valkyrie was chuffed. She just hope he had the budget. She glanced at the leaflet, seeing the price for the first time.

80,000 euros!!!

Valkyrie gulped. "You don't happen to have 80,000 euros on you do you?"

Skulduggery nodded, "Aye," as if that was the obvious thing in the world.

Valkyrie raised her eyebrows. "How much do you get paid?" She was annoyed that she wasn't getting paid for risking her life! Grown ups!!

He tapped the place where his nose should've been and looked back at the car.

Everyone was submerging now as the auctions were starting, Valkyrie guessed they'd better get seated.

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"Leave it Beryl!"

Beryl was kneeling behind an MG spying on Stephanie and the hat man walking away from the Bentley.

"Don't get caught up in Desmond's mess," Fergus encouraged. But Beryl simply waved him off.

"I'm going to find out what she's been doing. Something dodgy is up."

"Well, it looks like her friend wants _my _car. I won't let that happen!"

"Shh!"

Beryl crept around the car and tiptoed to a shelf where cars parts were placed. Stephanie was right on the over side. She heard what she was saying.

"You know, if you get left any change, say about Two Grand, could you buy a car for me?" She joked to the mysterious man.

_What a goldgigger she is!_ Thought Beryl.

She was clearly using this man. Selfish money grabber.

The two drifted away from beryl, she cursed.

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"No! I don't trust you!" Skulduggery told Valkyrie. She shook her head disappointed but not surprised.

Suddenly Skulduggery stopped dead. "Is someone following us?"

Valkyrie looked around, not seeing anybody out of the ordinary. How did he know these things?

"I don't think so."

"Humm," he continued to walk, then stopped again. "Do you have a feeling someone is watching us?"

"Skulduggery," Valkyrie snapped, "I don't have the sixth sense like you seem to do. No, I don't."

He trusted his hunch and looked back. No one, absolutely no one. Apart from a man who looked very familiar and a rather short, ratty old woman ducking from Skulduggery's eye view. No, nothing important…

…Crap!

Fergus Edgley and his wife Beryl.

"Erm, Val. You're relatives are here."

"Who?!" Valkyrie panicked. She noticed Beryl run away, with Fergus trying to catch up with her, clutching his chest.

"Is this bad?" She asked.

"Well, It is, but I need a car and I think I have a way of them forgetting everything about us."

"Oh yeah," She raised her eyebrow.

"Well, lets hope I do, anyway."

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Beryl was going to ask questions later, first, she needed that car.

"Lot 37," cried the auctioneer standing on a platform. "A rather beautiful Black continental Bentley coming in first at 60,000 euros. Whose bidding?"

Before he finished a dozen of hands went up.

Two of those including Fergus's and Skulduggery's. The competition had started.

After five minutes the price was up to 75,000 euros.

Their was only three people bidding, Fergus, Skulduggery and a red headed car buff.

When the price went over 80,000, the asking price, he quitted and stomped his foot angrily.

But Fergus and Skulduggery were determined to get it.

Fergus and Skulduggery shared intense gazes. Skulduggery's more threatening than Fergus's.

Valkyrie tried to hide her face from beryl, but it was too late. She had recognised her.

This was awkward.

"90-95?" the auctioneer turned to Skulduggery questionably and Skulduggery nodded.

"95-100?" he tuned to Fergus, who was sweating droplets of sweat. This was his maximum, she gulped and then nodded.

"100-105?" Skulduggery waited for a while. He wanted to make Fergus sweat a bit more first, then raised his hand.

Fergus looked as if he was going to cry.

Beryl urged him on, but his arms were hung on his side, gutted.

But Beryl was determined. She snatched the number card and held it up, keeping the bid.

Valkyrie was quite concerned. Beryl would be made bankrupt. But Valkyrie had mixed feelings of that.

Skulduggery then accepted 120,000 euros and the crestfallen Beryl couldn't deny it. She was outbidded.

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"Stephanie, what the hell are you doing here?!" Demanded Beryl as she stormed to her and Skulduggery, after the auction was over.

Valkyrie looked for help at Skulduggery and he went to Beryl. "Very sorry Beryl, but I'm afraid she isn't what she seems, or what I seem to be too." and incredulously , to Valkyrie's horror, put off his scarf and glasses off and revealed his true identity to Beryl. She fainted.

Fergus was away and Skulduggery quickly replaced his disguise quickly, Valkyrie hid.

"Pardon me," Skulduggery looked directly into Fergus's eyes through his magic specs and said very calmingly. "You haven't seen Stephanie, nor me. You never even went to a auction today. Forget all of this happened." Fergus's face was still like stone, his gazed hypnotized his Skulduggery's specs.

He nodded obeying.

Skulduggery was going to let Fergus out of the trance until he thought of something, "And buy something different then a Bentley. I think that Lime green jeep would suit you two more."

He pointed to a hideous jeep for sale. He was evil.

Fergus's nodded again and Skulduggery clicked his finer, and as soon as Fergus was conscious he pointed to his wife. "I'm sorry, but s this your wife? She seems to have fainted."

Fergus's looked down and saw her and panicked next to her. Skulduggery slipped away, forgotten and met Valkyrie outside, standing next to their, or rather his, new Bentley.

"What did you do?"

"I hypnotized Fergus not to remember any of this."

Valkyrie frowned, "What about Beryl?"

"Oh, she fainted. I'm sure she would think it was al a dream." He chuckled.

"Anyway, shall we try out our new ride?"

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"What the Hell have you bought!" Beryl screamed.

Fergus stood proud next to the lime green jeep in the drive way of his house the day after the auction. The toxic twin's stuck out their tongues. Beryl was distraught.

"How are we suppose to show our faces in that Thing!" Her head fell into her hands in dispair!

_Hehe! Hoped you like!! A bit daft but I was bored and liked how Beryl finds Valkyrie!_

_Please R&R!!_

_Thanks so much!!!_

_Rhos Furey!! _


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